You Are Loved
Not going to lie, these past few months have been hard. As some of you may know I tore my meniscus and it required surgery. This was not only hard on me physically but mentally as well.
A silly picture of me under anesthesia
This injury brought me into a depressive state. Life has not been easy to say the least. I have had zero motivation to do much. Going out with friends, going to school, getting out of bed have all been struggles this past month. I feel hopeless about my future, and just overall lost.
I have been trying to write something for months but it was either too depressing or just not what I wanted to say. I felt stuck and just overall frustrated. Writing is always an outlet for me and without it I felt hopeless and lost.
This made me find new outlets in my life. It made me value my time with family even more. Hanging with my dogs was just a simple way to get out of bed and made me feel even a little bit productive. When you are depressed it is sometimes hard to reach those big values in your life. So finding small values that you can achieve everyday is helpful to get you out of a funk.
“It feels like you're homesick but your home.” A line my mom told me when I was in a dark place this past week. This line really resonated with me, it felt exactly how I was feeling. I instantly cried when I heard it.
If you are feeling similar to how I am, I want you to know that you are so far from alone. Please please reach out to me or anyone else that understands. That may be a parent, a sibling, a friend, a therapist.
Sometimes you just have to feel the feelings. You have to listen to “Feeling Whitney” on full blast and scream and cry so loud you lose your voice. And that is ok! These feelings won’t pass unless you feel them. I know how much it sucks to feel those feelings. I HATE feeling my feelings but I do know that is the only way around this.
Everyday I keep track of my little pennies/wins of the day. Everyday you put little pennies in your big piggy bank and one day you will have all your pennies in your piggy bank and you will achieve the life you want/happiness.
For example, a penny could be the warm water in the shower against my chest. Or I saw a friend and we had genuine laughs. It’s just little things that made you just a little bit happy during your day.
You are not going to be able to reach happiness in one day, or even one month. But each day putting a little penny in that jar is just the beginning to this amazing beautiful life you have and so deserve.
I want you to keep fighting and keep reaching out to your supporters. You are beautiful inside and out and you deserve the world and more.
Forever sending my love to you all!
Love,
Alexa Cohen <3
