You Are Going to be Okay

Never in a million year would I ever think I would be able to say this sentence. I am going to college. If you were to tell 12 year old Alexa that she got into all of the colleges she applied to and actually committed somewhere she would have laughed so hard she peed her pants. 

Ever since I was old enough to think about stuff I always thought I wouldn’t make it to see my next birthday. And every year at my birthday I was genuinely shocked. As grim as this is I always thought I would either like get in a car crash or just magically disappear. 

Seeing myself make it to 18 is just insane to me. But here we are, I am 18, almost 19 and I'm still alive and kicking. Crazy how life works. 

I am honestly still in shock about this whole college thing. All my years of schooling I was so not confident in my abilities to do anything school related. I always thought I was the dumbest in the class and I would never ever make it in life. 

I know many people feel the same way as me, that they wouldn’t make it to their next birthday or milestone. This is where setting little goals comes in. Just like the little pennies I talked about previously, the little things matter. I know for myself, setting big picture goals just seems unfeasible and unrealistic. 

These little goals could be as simple as getting a skill in your sport, or even just get out of bed the next day. Setting these goals everyday will get you to the big goal, big picture ones. Just like the pennies, every goal you do is a penny and everyday you put your little goals in a piggy bank and one day you will reach your big goal. 

This weekend is my 2 years in recovery anniversary. Never would I ever think, first off, that I would be in recovery but that I would make it to 2 whole years. But I did it and I am actually proud of myself. 

2 years ago, as much as I don't believe this, I was sad, miserable and extremely lonely. These past 2 years have honestly been the hardest years of my life. But I made it. I am alive and I am well (for the most part lol). 

Just like I made it, so can you. Little goals, remember that!  

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