You Are Enough.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve sat down and written something. I felt lost with my blog and didn’t know how to go about it but I think I’m ready to continue.
These past few months have been rocky but very rewarding. I’ve had some of the best moments of my life so far but also some very hard ones. First things first, I graduated high school. Something I never thought I would ever be able to say. Something I've been looking forward to for the past 13 years of my life. Something I never expected to happen deep down. it’s safe to say that I'm very proud of myself for this huge accomplishment. With the help me my support I made it here and I finally walked across that stage and can now officially call myself a Natick High School alum.
I had prom, senior picnic, boat cruise, my graduation party, and my final gym show. All these things that wrapped up my final weeks of high school had me reminiscing 13 years. What a long road. 13 years of public school education have come to a close. 13 years of wins and loses. 13 years of memories, some positive, some negative. 13 years. wow. All the friends, all the teachers, and all the memories are now just something to look back on.
Though my senior year wasn’t anything like I had planned it to be I will forever be thankful for what the community of Natick has done for my classmates and me. This close-knit community brought me some of my closest friends that I will keep for a lifetime.
Every day of high school I wake up (to about 10 alarms and my parents yelling at me to get up), I get dressed, I look in the mirror, sometimes throw on mascara, grab something to eat, and run out the door. This routine is something I dreaded. I hated it so much. One thing I’ve learned over the past 13 years is I HATE routines. I hate the same thing every day. I hate getting up at 7 am every morning and going to sleep by 10:30 and doing the same old shit in the middle. And this is exactly why I love summer. A different thing every day, fun memories, spontaneous trips. Summer is like a dream in my world.
Summer is also extremely challenging for me for some factors as well though. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The harsh reality of summer hit me this year when I first had to put on a bathing suit. The pure embarrassment I felt looking in the mirror at my fully healthy and recovery body just didn’t sit right with me. All I wanted was to look like those girls I saw on tik tok the day before, the perfect slim waist with a nice perky butt and some washboard abs. So I thought about it. I did, I thought how nice it would be to look like one of those girls. I thought about how I could just restrict myself and be the smallest person I’ve ever seen. I did, I thought about it.
But then after much thought (trust me it was much) I realized why? why do I want to look like these girls who are probably, first off, not healthy themselves? Why do I want to be like someone I'm not? why can’t I just accept myself the way I am?
I know there are many boys and girls, women and men out there who have those same feelings as I did when I first put on my bathing suit. But ya know, why are we all trying to act like someone we are not? Why are we all striving for a standard that is not possible to reach? Every single one of you is unique, every single one of you has a gift, and every single one of you has something beautiful to show the world. We are all special and our bodies are the least important thing about us.
So next time you are sitting in front of that mirror with all the nasty thoughts surrounding you, think of this, think of me. Think why can’t I just be me? what’s the point of hiding myself? everyone is unique, the standard is impossible to reach.
Every one of you is beautiful. Each and every one of you can do the hard things. So keep going. Keep fighting. Keep being you.
Forever and always,
Alexa Cohen
