You Are Valid.

Eating disorders are a mental illness that sometimes have physical effects. Let's say that again for the people in the back. Eating disorders are a mental illness that sometimes have physical effects. This is a huge piece of information that has been a misconception in the world of eating disorders. You don’t need to have been hospitalized, been tubed, or been to treatment for your struggle to be valid. You are heard, you are valid, and you are loved. 

Recovery is terrifying. There is no easy way to put that. It’s losing parts of yourself you’ve become deeply attached to. It's letting go of things that bring you comfort, and realizing the comfort they brought you was slowly killing you. 

Something I've said through my whole ed is “I can’t recover yet because I need to hit ‘rock bottom’ first.

Because maybe if I once did choosing recovery would get easier. 

I convinced myself I never hit ‘rock bottom’ but the deeper I got, recovery never felt further. 

I now realize the only rock bottom my eating disorder will ever be satisfied with is 6 feet under. 

So please keep telling yourself that you will never reach rock bottom because rock bottom is death and we need you here. 

It's painful, it physically hurts. Sometimes you wonder why something that is saving your life feels like it could be the end of you. But those are the times you have to be the strongest. 

Recovery is terrifying but so is staying stuck. The idea that this could be your life forever, barley living, that's scarier. The sun will rise again and the light will flood in and you will be you. And no matter what, you will be okay. 

You are never going to see your body the way others see it. You will never see it run, you will  never see it sleep, you will never see your smile when you see someone you love. So let me ask you, why are you chasing a picture? Why are you looking at yourself in the mirror saying that's what I want to look like. 

You are much more then ur fucking body, so let me tell you. Eat whatever the fuck you want and be whoever you wanna be becuase that is so much stronger then what any lie your mirror is telling you. 

This process to terrifying but I fucking know its so worth it. It's worth the real smiles, the light in your eyes that's waiting to come back. So fight, fight with all you have. There is nothing to lose here. You’re beautiful inside and out and I know you can do this. 

Keep on going! I love you always.